Things I Don’t Understand, Vol 2

7 Oct

I love the fall. I know that’s not exactly an original stance, because if you don’t love pretty leaves and the smell of apple cider, then I need to take you on a road trip to Maine in September to find your soul (by October I’m pretty sure Maine is officially winter). But I also love the winter, so fall is awesome in itself, and it’s double-awesome in that it’s my Friday season: great in its anticipatoryness for the weekend that is winter. Hot cocoa! Warm coats! Heat turned on in the office so I only have to wear two layers instead of three! GLORIOUS.

But the fall also brings football. And I get so, so annoyed by one particular aspect of football, that I must record it for posterity in the Things I Do Not Understand column (see previous rant on self-flushing toilets. By the way, if I wrote that rant now, I would have about five more points of argument. I think about toilets a lot).

So, football! I’m not into it, but I have been to games, and Stephen watches it when his teams play, and I have found that it’s oddly comforting to have on in the background. Football, basketball and NPR were the background noise of much of my childhood, so it’s kind of nice to curl up with a book and sit on the couch with the sound of men jumping on each other as my white noise. And Boise’s a super-fan town for the BSU broncos. Which is great! I love superfans of anything, it’s so cute to see people deck out their cars and get excited. AND it means that I can wear a baggy sweatshirt to work on Fridays, as long as it’s a BSU baggy sweatshirt, and you know I love that. Oh, also, that there’s one time a week guaranteed to be non-busy at the cheap grocery store. So. All in all, football and me, we’re ok.

EXCEPT the fact that during football season, friends who I normally consider smart, considerate beings, will forgo everything for a “date with football.” I was recently trying to help organize a going-away party for a friend. And seriously, about 1/3 of the responses varied included the phrase “date with football.” This friend was LEAVING THE STATE. She could not reschedule her get-together. She would not see you again soon, and maybe never again at all (being realistic like that). People asked if the game would be on in the background, which it won’t be, because this friend had already packed her tv because SHE IS MOVING AWAY FOREVER. And, you know, there’s no magic machine that would let these fans somehow make a record of the game to watch as soon as they get home (I know that at least two of these punks have dvrs). It just . . . I mean . . . I don’t want to judge other people’s priorities, but GET YOUR PRIORITIES RIGHT SO I DON’T HAVE TO JUDGE THEM. I would probably get it if this was a BIG GAME, like the superbowl. Or mmmmaayyybbbeee even if it was against Idaho State, BSU’s biggest rival (though not really, I am not even sure they are in the literal same league? But in general, we hates them, so I would get wanting to watch that game, even if it is always a blow-out).  But BSU has only lost one game in what, three years? So you are staying home to watch your team win. Like you know they are going to. Like they have 99% of the time. Instead of going to see off your friend who is leaving forever and ever and this is the last impression you are giving her: I prefer watching strangers on tv to spending time with you, my friend who is leaving forever and ever.

I just don’t understand. Maybe I just don’t get sports. Or maybe these people are just kind of assholes. 


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