More than you want to know about my innards workings

18 Apr

For the first time in 2011, I feel like the normal me. And it was just in time for the weekend! I had a normal-me weekend, and it was awesome and awesomely normally me-y!

So, in January I was struck with a Mystery Disease. I didn’t know it was a Mystery Disease until late February, when I finally went to the doctor. My symptoms had been swollen joints and weirdo bruising on my legs, which I attributed to my body being too fat for my joints to handle and/or the result of new ramped-up exercising (because of said fatty-fat-phatness). But when my shoes didn’t fit because my ankles were too swollen, and my legs were more bruise than skin colored, I relented to co-pays and doctor prods. And thus began an epic saga of doctors, specialists, hospital visits and x-rays and blood tests and scary words like “lupus” and “rheumatoid arthritis.” But! In the end, I just have a Mystery Disease that is not chronic (hurray!). It’s a combination of various things, but basically my body decided to eat itself, starting with my joints and my kidneys. (I’m assuming my body threw in a nice bottle of chianti and some fava beans, because my body is nothing if not a gourmand, when it comes to self-cannibalization).

There are apparently many such autoimmune mystery diseases that strike for no reason. I asked my doc if we could name this one after me, and she said she’d start the paperwork (she’s awesome). Anyway, so THEN, in order to convince my body that itself is NOT delicious, I had to get on really intense medication. Which totally made me feel better physically (hurray!) except for the side effects. Good lord, the side effects. The meds gave me the appetite of a sumo wrestler, the energy of a sloth, the mood swings of a 13-year-old girl, and the bladder of an 80-year-old man. Which means I ate ALL the time, slept all the time (yet, insomnia was also a side effect, so I slept an hour, awake an hour, as a pattern), cried all the time, and pee’ed all night long. The peeing thing was especially awesome when on vacation last week, where we stayed with Stephen’s lovely parents, whose guest room is on the upper floor and bathroom is on the lower floor. Yeah. Midnight strolls down spiral staircases with no contacts in almost made peeing in the bed seem a better option.

The mood thing was most annoying though. A sampling of Times I Cried Last Month:

1-while listening to TAL (multiple times)
2-when I realized that I was in bed without brushing my teeth, and had to get out of bed again
3-when I got a B on an assignment I had worked super-duper hard on (still bitter about that. Those were more angry tears)
4-while masochistically looking at pictures of humane society dogs
5-when my rat died (legit)
6-when a work project I’d been toiling on was cancelled (even though I hated the project)
7-when various other drivers were jerks to me

Pathetic! And embarrassing, since many of these were while at work.

But lo, my joints are normal sized, my bruises are fading, and I am on reduced medication. So I am normal! Re-normalized, and it feels so good! I forgot that I actually like life sometimes, and that sleep is really fun, and that school doesn’t matter anymore because I am gradumicating in less than a month, and the big thing is I actually LIKE socializing again! The moodiness really made me want to do nothing with other people ever, even other people that I really like, but this weekend was jam-packed with such peoples, and I had fun. Fun! Hurray!

Also, as much as it was major bum to go through all this self-cannibalizing and self-craziness, it was kind of fun to see my body go nuts. It was a major reminder that I really have no idea WHAT goes on in this skinsuit that carries around my brain-shaped-neuroses-and-nerves-and-memories. It was kind of cute. Like seeing your four-year-old throw a tantrum. Simultaneously annoying and yet, kind of endearing because you can quash it immediately, even though the four-year-old is trying so hard. Being able to quash it was key, of course. Silly body. Shush now and appreciate the good food I put in you.

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One Response to “More than you want to know about my innards workings”

  1. Vivienne April 19, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    I assume that the disease will be named Camadoodle Syndrome. CDS for short.

    (YAY! for feeling almost back to your Doodle self!!!)

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