The da vinci of da kitchen

10 Feb

I invented a lunch! And it is deliciousness!

Behold: Spinach pesto quinoa cranberry scrumpdiddilyumptious a flambé! Minus the flambé.

lunchy munchy!

It’s super simple and unimpressive to people who aren’t me, but I am proud of myself. I really like cooking/baking, but I didn’t get into it until adulthood, and I’m not so much a good chef as a pretty-good direction follower. I follow directions to a ridiculous minute amount, because it’s all kind of magic to me, that I can put together flour and butter and somehow get a tasty treat. Abracadabra! Poof!

Example: a recent cupcake recipe called for 12 teaspoons of nutella. Now. Even I know that 3 teaspoons equals 1 tablespoon (Thanks, internet!). So, why not just say 4 tablespoons nutella, huh, recipe? But did I rebel? Did I put in 4 tablespoons of nutella instead of 12 teaspoons? Nope! Because I don’t understand how food works. And I daren’t defy the recipe, because maybe the teaspoon format made it more fluffy because there was more air in each teaspoon addition and if you did it via tablespoon your cupcakes would be horrible and poisonous and everyone would hate you.

And that’s why I never try to make anything myself that isn’t from a recipe. I don’t understand concoctions or how flavors work together or why you fold eggs instead of just whippin’ em in to some recipes. I mean, I kind of do, I know it has to do with texture and junk. And there’s very little more annoying than working forever toward a delicious goal, only to have it fall apart on you (I’m looking at you, peanut-butter-jelly-cake). So if I was going to make something, I was going to make it following someone else’s tried and true magic, instead of trying to go all rogue self-recipin’.

UNTIL TODAY. I was inspired by a broccoli pesto recipe, and was going to buy ingredients, but then was like, “I don’t have broccoli, but I have spinach. Spinach pesto!” And I didn’t have cheese, so the pesto is ghetto-ized, with spinach, EVOO, and slivered raw almonds as the only ingredients. But it’s good! And easy! And I just threw in cranberries last minute because I have two tons of Costco cranberries lolling around the kitchen!

Emeril, you better watch your ass, cuz I’m moving up.

Edited to add: Actually, it was really bland and I got sick of it and didn’t finish it. But I am still proud of myself!


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